I wrote this a couple weeks ago and forgot to post it. Since I leave tomorrow, I’d better get this thing wrapped up! I'm off to pack and pray away this snow that stands in the way of my time with my Zach and Zoey!
As I left off in Part III, the Lord was doing some major housecleaning in my heart. He was breaking down idolatry in my life, and showing me how to be content in my present circumstances. Then my amazing community group through Reality LA did a study on prayer that really helped me to re-learn how to pray and meditate on God’s word. My prayer life went from almost non-existent to a large part of my daily life. I was SO thirsty for the Word as well, spending about 300% more time reading my Bible than I had at any other point in my life. Obviously the Holy Spirit was doing something major in my soul. I was changing so dramatically that it was obvious to friends, family, and even my non-Christian friends. In some ways I felt like a new believer, as if a veil had been lifted and I was seeing with new eyes. Here’s where Part IV comes in...
I want to tell you about how God brought me into his plan for me to move to Kenya. It’s a pretty straightforward story, but one that bears some explanation. The short version is this: out of seemingly nowhere, but during a time of immense Spiritual growth bolstered by a new found prayer life and a lot of time in the Word--God whispered a word directly into my soul: Africa.
I realize this could sound crazy, especially if you don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. I had a funny experience at a party a few months ago when an old acquaintance pressed me with what exactly had been the decision maker to move to Kenya. As I tried to explain in sort of a broad way that it was God’s desire for me, he pressed for a more practical explanation until finally asking, “But it’s not like God literally just said, move to Africa, right?” Wrong. That is exactly what happened. Though not in an audible out-loud voice, the Holy Spirit spoke to me clearly and simply with one word during a time of prayer.
At first, I didn’t tell a soul. I wanted to mull it over, because it seemed crazy! I honestly thought that maybe I was just over-zealous during this time of passionate spiritual growth. Perhaps I was over-eager to serve in some dramatic capacity, so I was turning to the age-old classic of International missions. If you know me, even a little, I’m sure you understand that this was the LAST thing I ever expected to do. But if you know Jesus, you also understand that when he speaks, you know it. There was no real doubt in my mind from the first what he said and what he meant. I knew this was no 3 week trip building houses or orphanages, yet I had no idea what it might look like specifically.
I know God speaks to us in different ways at different points in our life. For me, this kind of direct verbal communication is a rarity. Usually God leads me to a decision over time and I rely more on a feeling of his peace than a specific yes or no to decipher his will. I can only guess why he chose to speak to me so directly and specifically--aside from a direct word from him, would I ever have considered this path? In the past my big decisions--college, where to work, who to date, places to live--have all made sense and fit into a recognizable pattern one after the other. In almost 28 years of life, this is the first time I’ve made a big change in direction that only makes sense through spiritual eyes. I count it an extreme honor to have the experience of a plan 100% chosen by the Lord for his purposes that I never would have stumbled upon on my own.
Because this story is so long and you’ve already read a LOT, I will skip over the months and months of searching for those specifics that brought me to Camp Blue Sky, Nairobi, and Kenya. Suffice it to say that though God chose to share his major vision for me in one word, it took an immense amount of prayer and work to find out what he wanted me to do, where to go, and how to get there. But every step of the journey has been filled with confirmations that I am where I am supposed to me. Some have been major, miraculous confirmations, others have been so small no one else would notice. There have been some high highs and low lows. I have felt excitement, fear, empowered, utterly incapable, encouraged, dismayed and just about everything in between, but here I am on the cusp of departure. Peaceful. Assured. As weak as any human, but fortified with the Lord’s strength.
Thanks for reading about my journey--I hope it serves not only as an encouragement of what the Lord can do in any undeserving and unsuspecting individual, but also as a witness that he is at work in mighty ways and invites us to play a part in his story. I can’t wait to see the rest play out!
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