I am feeling a bit poetic today...

In my psychology class this week we talked quite a bit about hypnosis. I've never been hypnotized or present at a demonstration, but I've always been intrigued by the idea. Basically my professor totally demystified it for me, explaining that it is hardly the alternate state of consciousness that many perceive it to be. It's really more of a relaxation technique, designed to help people calm down through breathing exercises and focused meditative thoughts. Once relaxed, the idea is that the hypnotized person is able/willing to access thoughts or feelings that they would otherwise leave alone. My textbook and my professor agree that the hypnotist does not hold any power over the patient, and isn't controlling them in any way--basically the patient does all the work by the power of suggestion. What it really seems to come down to are our own defense systems, so intricately built up to protect us--even from ourselves--to the point of needing someone else to calm us down and tell us it's ok to feel and to think and to let go. I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since, I think because I find it simultaneously beautiful and sad. Sad because we live in a world where we must build up defenses, or at least we think that we do, often to our own detriment. And beautiful because the truth is there is someone there to tell us it's ok to feel and to think and to be who we really are. May the walls fall down.

I want the gold

Just in case someone in my life has yet to experience this delight...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nda_OSWeyn8

Flights of Fancy

Today I saw two pigeons kind of swimming in a big puddle (do pigeons swim? Google results say yes--thank God for Google: http://www.flickr.com/photos/q8lt/219753727/), and although they gross me out, I thought it looked like they were having fun. That, in turn, inspired me to go directly through a set of sprinklers further along my run a la childhood fun in the yard. Turns out spandex running pants don't take well to water...

That reminded me of a time a couple of years ago when I was working at Anthropologie on 3rd St. Promenade. A flustered man approached me in a panic, telling me that he had seen a pigeon fly into one of our windows, and said pigeon had broken its neck and was now paralyzed on the sidewalk, unable to move but in a lot of pain nonetheless. This is honestly a direct quote. He was very upset when I informed him that no, I didn't think I was going to call animal services or a vet. When I asked him why HE didn't call, he said it was my responsibility as an employee of the store who had caused the pigeon's untimely demise. Did I mention that based on appearances this man was a normal 30ish guy who was shopping with his wife? Who knew he was also a bird whisperer? I still am not sure if it was some sort of test from corporate (perhaps my promotion shortly after was a direct result of my amazing handling of the tragic pigeon episode). I never did find out what happened to that poor bird...

Later on my run today I saw a huge crow (of whose species I generally detest due to an unfortunate comparison that a guy made between said birds and my general appearance. Still getting over that). This crow was trying to fly, but almost falling due to a huge piece of twig in her mouth which I can only assume she was trying to build a nest with. She is a fighter, and finally gained some air, flying off into the distance to conquer her life. And I decided maybe crows aren't so bad after all.

Commercial Appetite

At they gym this morning I was watching the TV without the sound, pretty much ignoring the important CNN updates and focusing only on the commercials. I love my Tivo, but I do occasionally miss all the hilarious ads that I no longer get to make fun of--this morning I caught two real gems. The first was an ad for some sort of cookie. My attention was grabbed by all these people with before and after weight loss pictures, some of whom had lost over 100 pounds. The funny part was that unlike other weight loss ads I've seen, these people were EATING during their testimonial. Seriously, they were putting bites in their mouths and then talking. If only I could have heard the sound...Anyways apparently this ad is for some magical system of cookies that make you lose weight. I call them magical because the ad showed an animation of all TYPES of stuff being poured into these cookies--fruits, nuts, pieces of wheat, granola, all being poured with milk into a square wonder cookie, that I'm guessing makes you lose weight as long as you only eat the cookies every day for 3 months. I am loving this new cookie make of milk and 20 billion other things that will help me lose 100 pounds--if only I had been able to write down the phone number...Do you think I could eat these cookies whilst wearing my Snuggy?



The other ad was for...who am I kidding, I don't know what the ad was for...something financial...and it had this adorable red piggy bank hopping all over the screen eating little dollar symbols. Every time he ate one, he got fatter, until he was so fat he filled up the whole screen and sort of rolled around (there was even a flying dollar sign, but he caught that too!) I swear, if I could actually remember what this company was (HSBC??? Something like that?) I would go out and buy whatever they sell, because darn it if their adorable red piggy didn't capture my heart.



So basically today I learned that eating money will make you fat, but cookies will help you lose 100 pounds.



Speaking of cookies, I do have to say one more thing--Oh elusive once-a-year Girl Scout Cookies! You are hard to get, and that makes me want you all the more! I'm really not sure if you taste that great, or if I only love your mystery and intrigue...

Ellie Grace!

My BFF Anna had her first baby, a girl named Elizabeth Grace Prusa. Here are some pics--isn't she adorable?

I am going to meet her over Easter and I can't wait!

This morning I re-kindled my love for grapefruits when I ate one on my parent's boat, enjoying the amazing LA weather and the pleasure of my mom and dad's company. This weekend I get to host a bridal shower for one of my dearest friends, and I'm having an amazing time party planning, cleaning and cooking. Yup-life is good.

Reassurance

"Well, you can't hold back all the crazy"--

My friend Scott's earnest attempt at reassurance, responding to my inability to remain "serious and mysterious" in front of a crush. So true, so true.

This only two weeks after my friend's dad (whom I admire and respect) told me I may need to leave the country in order to be better appreciated and understood by the opposite sex.

Perhaps I should take a nod from my Pleistocene ancestors, whom according to my psychology book had very different evolutionary mating principles--"They lived in small bands, and if they were lucky they might get to choose between Urp and Ork, and that's about it; they could not hold out for some gorgeous babe or handsome millionaire down the road" (do I need to reference this? perhaps my mysterious follower RbGzABcwkooblahblahblah is a spy for the MLA police? That's right secret person, I am calling you out).

Either way, I think we can all learn a lot from Scott, Urp, and Ork...or not.

Poofy Trees and Predictive Text and I'm sorry this blog is way too long

So as part of my new found embracement (?) of technology, yesterday I decided to update my info on facebook. One of my pet peeves is when people refuse to take part in a fad or trend just because everyone else is doing it and they are so "non-mainstream". I think being a true individual means accepting that sometimes you will indeed like things that other people are into (I think this would be a good moment to say that yes I did see Titanic 7 times in the theater, and I am neither ashamed nor obsessed with Leo, although I may be obsessed with Kate). ANYWAYS, yesterday I was humbled to find that I had been doing that very thing in believing myself to be above taking facebook somewhat seriously. As a member of the original facebook generation, I have been hesitant to take it to the next level as it has become a phenom-I don't update my status, I rarely post pictures (although I constantly untag myself from them--oh vanity!), etc. So with an air of humility, I decided to update some of my favorite books, TV shows, etc. and to stop worrying that people may not innately understand that I do read serious literature despite the fact that all that comes to mind while I'm posting is Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. It was much to my surprise when I started typing and the great facebook robot started trying to guess the end of all of my words. Honestly, I found it to be a little over eager. I mean come on facebook, stop trying to pretend you know me SO well and no I WASN'T trying to type Knot's Landing, what do you take me for? And is that really necessary? Either the facebook people think I am too lazy to finish typing my words, or they are trying to pretend we are way closer than we actually are.

The point of this rambling is that the whole experience got me thinking about the idea of "predictive text" in our lives. Maybe it's because I am an ENFP (if you don't know what I'm talking about then we need to talk about Keirsey), or because I am an artist, or whatever, but being truly known is a huge concept for me. Nothing makes me feel more loved than being understood by the people I am close to, and nothing gets me more riled up than someone saying they know what I am thinking or feeling when they don't. Here's an self-revealing example: I always notice the first time someone calls me "Lex", and it usually makes me feel really happy, like yay, we are really friends! There have been a few times, however, when someone has called me that and I felt really uncomfortable. It's a small example of what I believe is a bigger issue--that a key part of being known or understood is being in some context of relationship, and without one it can seem intrusively intimate. And despite the fact that I think it means more to some than to others (or at least that I think about more than "normal" people) I believe we all seek out understanding, and conversely pull back when we encounter false or misguided intimacy.
I just learned about a concept called "confirmation bias" in my psychology class at SMC (I am trying to better my mind with a random college course) which basically says that we seek out ideas/theories that confirm our pre-existing ones and I was struck by the truth in this. Who doesn't want validation, right? But the truth is we can't grow without being challenged, and our beliefs aren't worth much if we haven't really examined and tested them. I realize that this has virtually nothing to do with my "predictive text" theory, but I think in a way we both long for and fear the idea of someone knowing us that well, to the point where they can guess what we're going to say or really understand the way we are feeling. I guess this isn't really some bold, new idea as everyone knows that intimacy is both fulfilling and frightening, but this is where my head happened to be this morning. It also coincided with an experience I had the other day, when I was driving in Venice and came across this amazingly quirky tree with bright pink flowers. I tried to take a picture of it for you, but I my phone somehow deleted it. Anyways, I had been feeling somewhat distant from God last week, and having some pretty self-pitying thoughts about Him not understanding me or being able to handle my "complicated" nature. The truth is I don't believe that at all--I believe in fact that He created me, and knows me more completely than I know myself and yet still loves me unconditionally (grace is crazy but amazing!) but hey, we all have moments of doubt and thankfully He can handle that. When I saw this tree, I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. I can't explain exactly why, and I'm not sure if this is too silly to even say, but seeing that tree reminded me that God isn't all about the "stately" "serious" or even "normal" trees--he made pines and oaks but he also made that kooky little tree on Rose Street with poofy Dr. Suess-like pink flowers--and I was struck once again by the reassurance of being known and loved by the creator of the universe. So facebook may never really get me--but I'm ok with that.

Ailing Adventures

So I inconveniently got sick on Saturday, much to my dismay as I had visions of posts filled with wit and splendor relating to this new blog. Instead I bought the second season of Arrested Development and lost myself in the world of the Bluths for several days. One consolation to my recent sickness was that I got to do one of my secret favorite things that I save for times of ailment: using the symptom checker on WebMD. That's right, I am that person. The reasons that I love doing this are threefold. 1. You never know what crazy illness you're going to get when you work with kids 2. You get to fill in online check boxes and do a sort of choose your adventure game which never gets old to me and 3. i ALWAYS end up with an notice that says "Seek emergency care immediately". Seriously. It doesn't matter what is wrong with me, and I continue to get a kick out of it although at this point it has lost the fear factor that it once held. I know this could seem sort of messed up, but it isn't that I want to be ill or that I mock those who are, it's more that I find it ironic that this impersonal, medicinal website is actually more dramatic than I am. To be fair I do think that ever since I got pleurisy (that's right--I'm medieval!) I automatically have intense chest pain every time I have any sort of sickness which my Doctor claims is totally normal (for a week, a month, a year, who knows could be forever--his words. so reassuring!) The website, poor robot that it is (who am I kidding, I am totally jealous of it's robotic powers), cannot differentiate between a mild case of plague and heart failure. Either way, it's always a bright spot whenever I am under the weather.



Good news is I'm back, and not a moment too soon as Whitney sent me a picture of a pink albino dolphin that has recently been sighted in a US lake. What is next, pink unicorn sightings? One can only hope.