Poofy Trees and Predictive Text and I'm sorry this blog is way too long

So as part of my new found embracement (?) of technology, yesterday I decided to update my info on facebook. One of my pet peeves is when people refuse to take part in a fad or trend just because everyone else is doing it and they are so "non-mainstream". I think being a true individual means accepting that sometimes you will indeed like things that other people are into (I think this would be a good moment to say that yes I did see Titanic 7 times in the theater, and I am neither ashamed nor obsessed with Leo, although I may be obsessed with Kate). ANYWAYS, yesterday I was humbled to find that I had been doing that very thing in believing myself to be above taking facebook somewhat seriously. As a member of the original facebook generation, I have been hesitant to take it to the next level as it has become a phenom-I don't update my status, I rarely post pictures (although I constantly untag myself from them--oh vanity!), etc. So with an air of humility, I decided to update some of my favorite books, TV shows, etc. and to stop worrying that people may not innately understand that I do read serious literature despite the fact that all that comes to mind while I'm posting is Alexander and the Terrible Horrible No Good Very Bad Day. It was much to my surprise when I started typing and the great facebook robot started trying to guess the end of all of my words. Honestly, I found it to be a little over eager. I mean come on facebook, stop trying to pretend you know me SO well and no I WASN'T trying to type Knot's Landing, what do you take me for? And is that really necessary? Either the facebook people think I am too lazy to finish typing my words, or they are trying to pretend we are way closer than we actually are.

The point of this rambling is that the whole experience got me thinking about the idea of "predictive text" in our lives. Maybe it's because I am an ENFP (if you don't know what I'm talking about then we need to talk about Keirsey), or because I am an artist, or whatever, but being truly known is a huge concept for me. Nothing makes me feel more loved than being understood by the people I am close to, and nothing gets me more riled up than someone saying they know what I am thinking or feeling when they don't. Here's an self-revealing example: I always notice the first time someone calls me "Lex", and it usually makes me feel really happy, like yay, we are really friends! There have been a few times, however, when someone has called me that and I felt really uncomfortable. It's a small example of what I believe is a bigger issue--that a key part of being known or understood is being in some context of relationship, and without one it can seem intrusively intimate. And despite the fact that I think it means more to some than to others (or at least that I think about more than "normal" people) I believe we all seek out understanding, and conversely pull back when we encounter false or misguided intimacy.
I just learned about a concept called "confirmation bias" in my psychology class at SMC (I am trying to better my mind with a random college course) which basically says that we seek out ideas/theories that confirm our pre-existing ones and I was struck by the truth in this. Who doesn't want validation, right? But the truth is we can't grow without being challenged, and our beliefs aren't worth much if we haven't really examined and tested them. I realize that this has virtually nothing to do with my "predictive text" theory, but I think in a way we both long for and fear the idea of someone knowing us that well, to the point where they can guess what we're going to say or really understand the way we are feeling. I guess this isn't really some bold, new idea as everyone knows that intimacy is both fulfilling and frightening, but this is where my head happened to be this morning. It also coincided with an experience I had the other day, when I was driving in Venice and came across this amazingly quirky tree with bright pink flowers. I tried to take a picture of it for you, but I my phone somehow deleted it. Anyways, I had been feeling somewhat distant from God last week, and having some pretty self-pitying thoughts about Him not understanding me or being able to handle my "complicated" nature. The truth is I don't believe that at all--I believe in fact that He created me, and knows me more completely than I know myself and yet still loves me unconditionally (grace is crazy but amazing!) but hey, we all have moments of doubt and thankfully He can handle that. When I saw this tree, I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotion. I can't explain exactly why, and I'm not sure if this is too silly to even say, but seeing that tree reminded me that God isn't all about the "stately" "serious" or even "normal" trees--he made pines and oaks but he also made that kooky little tree on Rose Street with poofy Dr. Suess-like pink flowers--and I was struck once again by the reassurance of being known and loved by the creator of the universe. So facebook may never really get me--but I'm ok with that.