Zachopotamus

Dear Zachary,

I can't wait to meet you! Today is your birthday, and I am so excited I can barely sit still! I have to stay out in LA until tomorrow night, but I will come to meet you as soon as I can. I know you will have lots of sleeping to do before I get there. I am praying for you to come into the world safely. I know God has special plans for your life. You are such a special little man, who so many people already love before we have even met you. Since the moment I found out you were alive, I have waited for this day. Welcome my little Zachopotamus--I can't wait to kiss your fuzzy little head and sing you silly songs. I love you.

LaLa

Disaster Zone

So the other day I noticed this sign on my drive to work





Then as I turned off PCH and headed up the hill, I noticed this sign

I don't want to make light of tsunamis, but it kind of made me laugh when I looked at the website and saw this quote:

"While a tsunami threat to the Golden State is real, the potential for killer waves is far less likely than the earthquakes, wildfires, landslides and floods that plague the nation’s most populous state." http://latestnews.stanzooblogs.com/?p=4174



Made me feel REAL good. Case in point there was a sizable earthquake 30 minutes ago. The bad news was I couldn't feel my legs for about 10 minutes, but this is the FIRST time I've remembered to try to hide under the table (wine glass in hand-haha good timing earthquake). So all in all I feel prepared for all the disasters headed my way--after all they, in turn, may find me more of a disaster than they are ready to wrangle with.



In OTHER news I was at the store and saw that they are now making these




Yes that's right, the saturated market just made room for a candy bar with caffeine built in. Thanks--cause I couldn't just pick up a coffee with my fat bar.

Lastly I want to mention that for the third time in the past month I rode my bike up to Malibu and back and it is hands down one of my favorite parts of living in LA. I think I will add it to my summer list of must dos--also on the list: learn to play guitar and golf--that way at least I'll probably follow through on one item. If only I could avoid riding under the Santa Monica Pier or what I like to call "The tunnel of death and demon pigeons"...

Sigh

"My heart is full of rubber bands that keep getting caught on things"
--Butterfly Boucher, "Another White Dash"

Yet another life lesson from a tree

It is tree-trimming time in my neighborhood, and today they were out with a vengeance as I went on my morning walk. This is a joyous time for me, because one of the things on my "list" of wishes for my life is to ride in what I was taught to call a Cherry Picker--you know, the crane truck tree trimmer thing. If anyone has a hook up to make this happen, let me know--Seriously. Also I want to hold a puffin beat all the levels of Super Mario Bros 3 but I'm not holding my breath.

So I was walking past this one house, and I noticed that they had written notes and taped them to several of the trees on the border of their property. Obviously, I needed to read what was on those notes. They said "Hello tree trimmers, please do NOT trim my London Plane trees (Sycamores)". First of all, yes i DO wish I was on a plane to London right about now. Secondly, I liked how they went to the trouble to list both the actual tree name and the common name, as if the tree trimming crew would differentiate.

Quick side note--do you watch 30 Rock? It's really funny. Lately they've been doing this thing where they show the world through the eyes of some of the characters--Jack sees dollar values on everything and everyone, Tracy sees himself instead of other people, and my favorite Kenneth sees everyone as Muppets. I see metaphors and symbolism EVERYWHERE, so I think if someone where to video my point of view it would be trees that were telling my important life lessons and flowers that had little faces and were singing and waterfalls that played music and dogs and cats that were unicorns and narwhals with wisdom to impart.

ANYWAY, that side note was just to point out that I can't help myself to make a poetic metaphor involving those trees and my life. Suck it up, here it is. It struck me that I do that in my own life--I put little notes up for God to read, like "don't touch this" or "I'll just take care of this one" because I'm scared of what his idea of upkeep might look like in my life. And that is ridiculous, because he knows much better than I do what needs trimming and what doesn't. Let's be honest, the landscaper usually knows more about what needs to be done than the homeowner. But of course we want what we want, and oftentimes lack the perspective of one greater than ourselves. I know in my head that trees need to be trimmed, in order to produce a better bloom the following year, but my heart just reminds me that the trees look really stupid all pruned back and I just want the benefit of all the flowers with no downsides. There's also the idea that the trees are trimmed for the greater good of the whole neighborhood. If each was left to its own devices, pretty soon I wouldn't be able to drive down the street, or enjoy my morning walk without crazy leaves attacking me (and the scary spiders that sometimes are hanging from them!). Sadly I am so self focused that I usually care more about what this "trimming" or upkeep is doing to me rather than how it could be for the benefit of those around me.

Ironically after all that thinking I passed the house again and noticed that the trees really DIDN'T need trimming, but then I realized, who am I to say? So I thanked God for this day--hard times/trimming and all, and kept on walking.

I am back

So it has taken awhile, and some friendly nudging from my friends (mom that is you too) but here I am. I have missed you, bloggington. I have been 1. busy and 2. riding the tumultuous seas of my life and not really sure how to write about it.

So I had SO much fun in Atlanta and at JPs' wedding--so much in fact, that I can't even consolidate it into a post. I will say that I am SO blessed because I got to spend 11 days surrounded by my best friends and so much love, laughter, and a few tornadoes (well that part wasn't the highlight). The whole week has left me in a sort of high, which may or may not also have to do with the fact that it started feeling like SUMMER and I am SO excited.

The onset of summer has affected me in several ways:

1. It makes me want to eat summery food like lemony couscous, grilled chicken (on the boat--it just tastes better!), and things with cilantro and basil in them.. I find it amusing that my food cravings change so much when the season does. I hope you all will join me for boat/food nights soon.

2. Summer makes me boy crazy. I know this is really ridiculous, since I always have been, but summer just makes me feel entitled to having fun date nights. Unfortunately all my love arrows have been bouncing right off their subjects but watch out because I have more to throw.

3. Whether it is the heat or knowing there are so many people out and about, I want to be doing something out in LA all the time. I am all about curling up on my couch and watching some Felicity, but I feel like winter was the time for hibernating inside and now it's time to PLAY. I want to go star watching at the Griffith Park observatory, I want to ride my bike to the farmer's market, and eat all my meals at outdoor cafes.

4. I can't stop writing folksy songs including but not limited to one about a mermaid who falls in love with a lion, one about playing on the playground, and of course the now classic "Don't obssess just confess your love to me" which I co-wrote with my roommate. Anyone else up for some collaborations?

I can't say it is because of the change of season, because I have always been a dreamer and an incurable romantic but lately it's been even harder than usual for me to keep my feet on the ground. I often feel like I am a balloon, who at the slightest chance for freedom will escape away to the clouds. I am so nostalgic about the past, and so hopeful for the future that I have trouble enjoying the now. And let's be honest, I should be enjoying it because it is pretty grand. So this summer, or this week, or just for today that it what I'm striving for. Wish me well.

Spring Break

So my wonderful mom sent me an email "confronting" my absense on this blog, and per usual, she was right. What was I thinking? Well mainly I was busy, what with gearing up for JJ's wedding, visiting all my Atlantas including the marvelous Elizabeth Grace, and living my complicated/amazing life--but the truth is I was also having an up and down month and not quite sure how to include my not so private blog in my personal and oft emotional day to day existence. But then I remembered that I am completely transparent and that anyone close enough to me to bother reading my blogs has already passed many an hour listening me verbally process these ups and downs so why not just be a modern gal, suck it up and add it to the blog--which is after all about living, loving, losing, loving, and living. And OH, have I been doing this.

So with my newfound committment to my own revolving revolution, here's whats been happening in a recap mode:

Jamey got married. YEA! It was so beautiful, so emotional, so uplifting and so insanely fun it's hard to capsize it into any sort of summary. Suffice it to say that it was so wonderful to be a part of all the love and support surrounding them, and to spend so much time with my amazing friends. Take a look at the pics on facebook for the highlights. I think we all know I love weddings, and I love a good party, AND a good mini Malibu vacation so it was the tops. It's really cool that when two people fall in and love and married they create this tornado of love and fun that the rest of their friends get to be sucked up into, deposited who knows where and a little disheveled, but in a for a good ride nonetheless. And I'm not going to lie, it was inspiring to see that kind of love up close--I won't say no to that when it comes this way.

I also went to Atlanta, and got to stay with my wonderful best friend and her husband, and hold their perfectly beautiful new baby. There really isn't anything like rocking a baby to sleep, the last one awake in a dark and quiet house. Plus seeing all the other people that mean so much to me, that have seen me grow up and know me so well was very comforting and a much needed jolt to my April. I've been feeling sort of out of place in my own life, having a hard time just being in it in the present, and they were exactly what I needed to bring me back. I love you guys so much, you reminded me who I am and where I've been and I needed it.

So with all these babies and weddings, you may be worried that I am on some sort of fast track, but don't worry, because I've spent the better part of the last weekend on the beach with my girlfriends--pizza, movies, boy craziness and LA summer. And it's only April! Can't wait to live out the rest of this summer.

I am feeling a bit poetic today...

In my psychology class this week we talked quite a bit about hypnosis. I've never been hypnotized or present at a demonstration, but I've always been intrigued by the idea. Basically my professor totally demystified it for me, explaining that it is hardly the alternate state of consciousness that many perceive it to be. It's really more of a relaxation technique, designed to help people calm down through breathing exercises and focused meditative thoughts. Once relaxed, the idea is that the hypnotized person is able/willing to access thoughts or feelings that they would otherwise leave alone. My textbook and my professor agree that the hypnotist does not hold any power over the patient, and isn't controlling them in any way--basically the patient does all the work by the power of suggestion. What it really seems to come down to are our own defense systems, so intricately built up to protect us--even from ourselves--to the point of needing someone else to calm us down and tell us it's ok to feel and to think and to let go. I haven't been able to stop thinking about this since, I think because I find it simultaneously beautiful and sad. Sad because we live in a world where we must build up defenses, or at least we think that we do, often to our own detriment. And beautiful because the truth is there is someone there to tell us it's ok to feel and to think and to be who we really are. May the walls fall down.