Tolerance

This week I've been musing upon the word "Tolerance"--or really, INtolerance. I think that our culture has sadly misunderstood, and therefore repeatedly misused this word to the point that the very subtext of the word itself has changed. I'm not going to quote Webster's dictionary to you, in fact I'm not even going to look up the definition. Like most (all) of my posts, this is coming straight from the wilds of my own thoughts.

The very act of tolerating somethings basically means putting up with something. Not necessarily loving it. Not even embracing it. More like accepting something, but at arms length. Therefore the word intolerance SHOULD mean, NOT accepting something, even at the safe distance of an arm's length. What bothers me is that today--especially in the context of the news relating to politics, religion, and other heated topices--tolerance/intolerance have been morphed into thinking something is right or wrong. If I believe I am right and you are wrong, I am intolerant. If I like someone and you don't, you are intolerant. What is going on here? If you are a person of strong convictions, or really if you have ANY convictions (and we all do--even if your conviction is complete "openness", that too is a conviction, tricky ain't it?) than you think you are right about some things. Unless you live in a perpetual state of uncertainty, that means that at some point you think someone who disagrees with you is wrong. And (dare I say it?) that is ok. I fear for any child who is raised to think it is never ok to be in disagreement with another human. And this is where tolerance comes into play. When you think you are right, and someone else is wrong, that is when you learn to TOLERATE it. Sure, you might talk about it, try to change their mind, but it might not work. If this person is in your life to stay, at some point you will need to get past it. Hopefully love each other anyway. Agree to disagree. It doesn't mean letting go of your convictions, it means loving THROUGH them. And if that is the real meaning of tolerance, than the real meaning of INtolerance is a person who not only thinks they are right and you are wrong, but refuses to accept it and therefore you. Refuses to get through it or around it. Refuses to love you while disagreeing with you. And when that happens, it hurts. It feels like rejection, like stubborness, like fear. Thank God for grace and forgiveness in the face of things like this. I can't offer a band-aid to something as broad as intolerance, but I can use the word correctly and I hope you can too. (or you can tell me why I'm wrong about this and we can love each other in spite of it and the cycle will continue)

***I absolutely belive in right and wrong and am not suggesting we blow daisies and unicorns at things in the name of tolerance. I am talking about when someone you love/know/just met once at the grocery store doesn't share your beliefs. Or what to do when someone tells you that in order TO accept them, you have to agree with them. Dangerous ground...